dirty little three lettered word

Sin:
1. transgression of divine law: the sin of Adam.

2. any act regarded as such a transgression, especially a willful or deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.

3. any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse, etc.

Recently, I behaved in such an unloving way that I almost can't even bare to look at myself. I'm filled with condemnation and disappointment in myself. Yet, I know that isn't how God looks at me. He sees me as His precious child, who in my attempt to be heard, sinned. Despite my unloving actions, words, behavior, and thoughts he sees me as a Perfect 10. God has bestowed His mercy on me. 

His mercy forgives. 
His mercy keeps no record of wrongs.
His mercy supplies a life line.
His mercy accepts me; in lieu of my shortcomings.
His mercy always protects.
His mercy always loves.
His mercy requires no justice. 
His mercy gave me His son.
His mercy pours out grace.

I keep trying to put my own glasses back on and see things through my eyes only, this allows me to wallow in my regret, and I settle in a pattern of asking God for forgiveness, mercy, and grace, over and over again.  I'm smart enough to know this kind of thinking isn't going to do me any good. The person I hurt says that everything is okay. That I am being too hard on myself and that they screwed up too. They say, "I know you won't do it again." They bestowed God's grace on me, but I somehow keep thinking that I have something to "repay." That I'll have to do a thousand things right, to undo the one thing I did wrong.

That dirty little three lettered word, sin, wants to keep me from my savior.  I'm well aware that I am broken; fragile, an imperfect being. I keep reassuring myself that God loves perfectly. God is not fragile. God is not broken. God is perfect. He already won my battle with sin, with Satan, and anything that could ever keep me from Him.

Good-bye condemnation.
Good-bye disappointment. 
Good-bye regret.

Hello Mercy.
Hello Forgiveness.
Hello Grace. 

Forever I will be shielded by the love of my Savior.

 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7

Mercy doesn't give us what we do deserve--justice. Grace goes far beyond mercy. Grace offers us what we don't deserve--lavish lovingkindness. --Steve McVey