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| Photo Credit: Jennifer Munn// Edit by: Aubrey Stout |
Deciding to participate in Lent was a pretty big deal for me. For the last couple of years, several of the writers and bloggers I follow have in general directed me towards the idea and discipline of Lent. It's not a new idea for me, being raised in a Lutheran Church, but the active participation, and not just be a bystander is. I'd download the little devotionals with good intentions, but never followed through.
A few weeks ago I streamed a live event on my computer called the If: Gathering. It was amazing! I'd like to write a whole post about it, but I'm still digesting several things I consumed during that event. After the live event they launched a website called If: Equip. Women all across the globe are opening their bibles reading the same passage daily. For 18 days I've been following and reading about the events leading up to Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection from the book of John. I knew right away that God was preparing and putting into place for me the daily discipline to fully engage in the season of Lent this year.
The difference for me than in years past, was me. ha! The If streaming really got my heart stirring and revived a part of my faith I had put on the back burner. It struck a chord with me, which ultimately led to me having a clear and distinct desire for more of Him. Years past the season of Lent would stir my heart, but more out of a I "ought" to or I "should" do that. In short, I wasn't motivated from the right place.
The motivation I feel today is the presence of the Holy Spirit and the nudge it is giving me to abstain from something that separates me from wholly being enamored by my Heavenly Father and importantly I "want" to sacrifice or deny myself because I feel called to, not because shame or guilt says I should do it.
What really cemented the fact that Lent was going to be very real for me this year, was my small groups director. She sent an email out over the weekend inviting fellow leaders to join in this sacred practice with her and that she needed the accountability of sharing this with others who choose to join her. She made it very clear that if you chose not to participate it didn't make you less of a follower, or if you did choose to participate it didn't make you more spiritual, "we are free to willingly choose to do this, whoever wishes, and I guarantee you will be blessed. Or if you choose not to, you are still blessed and living in the favor of God as His beloved Child." and how she ended her email, was my favorite..."His grace is scandalous, if you think about it." Grace and I have a long history of misunderstanding one another, so I love that she concluded with His grace, put down that measuring stick!
Then came the decision of what the heck do I fast or give up for Lent. My go to, was of course, coffee/caffeine, my addiction is at a roaring high at the moment and knew that it would benefit me greatly by not partaking and honestly would be pretty easy for me to give up. The next day came and went and I continued to reflect on my choice. Somewhere in there, it occurred to me, in part because of where I am mentally at this season of my life, that I was looking to social media to fill the voids I have been feeling in the real living and breathing world. I was not consciously aware of that, but once the thought entered my mind, it gave great clarity. I cringed at the thought of not using Instagram, I love a good photo, or share in the thoughts of my friends and loved ones on Facebook. I tried to empty that idea from my thoughts, but it was pervasive. I began to think, what could I accomplish if I didn't look to these things to fill up my time and thoughts. How would my attitudes and opinions about myself change if I sought out His truths about me? Gulp. Then I knew that the lifeline my groups director handed me was absolutely imperative and God seeking my attention. I needed the accountability she offered and I was terrified. I waited until the very last minute to reply and let her know I was in.
Yesterday was day one and boy was I tested! You know what the great thing is? If for some reason my flesh fails me, God's grace IS scandalous. He meets me exactly where I am at and it isn't about the doing, but about me giving him more of me.
This song/video ministers to me in so many ways right now--I hope you enjoy it.
What really cemented the fact that Lent was going to be very real for me this year, was my small groups director. She sent an email out over the weekend inviting fellow leaders to join in this sacred practice with her and that she needed the accountability of sharing this with others who choose to join her. She made it very clear that if you chose not to participate it didn't make you less of a follower, or if you did choose to participate it didn't make you more spiritual, "we are free to willingly choose to do this, whoever wishes, and I guarantee you will be blessed. Or if you choose not to, you are still blessed and living in the favor of God as His beloved Child." and how she ended her email, was my favorite..."His grace is scandalous, if you think about it." Grace and I have a long history of misunderstanding one another, so I love that she concluded with His grace, put down that measuring stick!
Then came the decision of what the heck do I fast or give up for Lent. My go to, was of course, coffee/caffeine, my addiction is at a roaring high at the moment and knew that it would benefit me greatly by not partaking and honestly would be pretty easy for me to give up. The next day came and went and I continued to reflect on my choice. Somewhere in there, it occurred to me, in part because of where I am mentally at this season of my life, that I was looking to social media to fill the voids I have been feeling in the real living and breathing world. I was not consciously aware of that, but once the thought entered my mind, it gave great clarity. I cringed at the thought of not using Instagram, I love a good photo, or share in the thoughts of my friends and loved ones on Facebook. I tried to empty that idea from my thoughts, but it was pervasive. I began to think, what could I accomplish if I didn't look to these things to fill up my time and thoughts. How would my attitudes and opinions about myself change if I sought out His truths about me? Gulp. Then I knew that the lifeline my groups director handed me was absolutely imperative and God seeking my attention. I needed the accountability she offered and I was terrified. I waited until the very last minute to reply and let her know I was in.
Yesterday was day one and boy was I tested! You know what the great thing is? If for some reason my flesh fails me, God's grace IS scandalous. He meets me exactly where I am at and it isn't about the doing, but about me giving him more of me.
This song/video ministers to me in so many ways right now--I hope you enjoy it.
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