Be Still

                                                 

Hi! Remember me?

I haven't posted for nearly a year and I don't have much explanation for it. I guess I don't really need one. I'm learning that it's okay for me not to have an explanation, to not justify every action.

I will tell you where I'm at right now. Right now, I'm saying yes to finding ways to accept myself in all my broken and ugly glory.

Loving myself despite all the ways I convince myself I'm unlovable.

Accepting me for who I am becoming.

I know that most of you too, look at yourself and find things you wish you could change or do different. We all wage our own war within the space of our two ears. We forge battlegrounds in our minds and forget that we are children of God. I laugh as I write that, because do I ever doubt that.

So how do we start saying yes to loving and accepting ourselves, right now?

We give thanks.

How do we give thanks?

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Be still?

The simplicity of that is magical. Stop and be still. Don't doubt. Don't fear. Don't worry. Just be still.

If I did this one thing every time I was tempted to tell myself I'm not good enough. smart enough. pretty enough. Every time I stared at myself in the mirror longing to shed myself of body fat, stretch marks, zits, wrinkles, gray hair, stained teeth, and dwell on moments and things in the past that are unchangeable. Every time I thought of my future and what I could be, want to be or should be. All of that has everything to do with what I am NOT right now. STOP. Be still.

[s i l e n c e]

It's in the quiet that we can begin to hear the truth. In this moment. not that moment. or the moment to be.

THIS ONE.

Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me. Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Psalm139:11-12

As hard as I try to keep myself in the darkness it will shine like the day for Him. I cannot hide myself from Him. I can slither away from you, from those around me, but from Him...impossible.

For he doesn't believe, or think, but knows "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14

Even though I hear it and read it, I still have trouble believing it. If you look at Psalm 139:14 the little phrase before I am fearfully and wonderfully made, it says I praise you because... 

I                  PRAISE (thank)                    you


because (not, I think, or maybe but because...it is a fact)


I  AM           fearfully            AND                wonderfully         made.



I [Aubrey] praise you [God] BECAUSE I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

This on auto repeat until I believe it.

Say it with me...

I praise you, because I AM fearfully and wonderfully made.

Be still and praise him because you ARE fearfully and wonderfully made. That war we wage within ourselves is already won before we even begin! We can't stop the battle, because the battle doesn't exist. Verse 14 isn't finished though. It finishes by saying, "your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Your works are wonderful! You know how I know that full well, because I believe that to be true of every human on the face of this planet. His works are wonderful. And if you have a hard time believing that of people, then find some works he created that you believe to be wonderful...majestic mountains, the awe that comes with the sunrise, the laughter of your child, music, something you can attribute to be a wonderful work of God and apply that same methodology to yourself. It starts with being still and opening ourselves up to accept His truth about ourselves. Be still and take assurance that he is God and praise him for making you. We might see ourselves as flawed, broken messes, but He doesn't.


If that is difficult for you, like it is for me, then I just ask that you fake it, till you make it. Tell yourself this every day, or every hour, however many times it takes until you believe it and accept it as truth. I believe it of you. And if you're brave enough to tell me you struggle with this, email me, or comment below and I will join my Father God in praying with you that this promise finds its way to your heart, your mind and your soul.